Dear Office Dweller

The following letter is a composite of feedbackthe features that I just explained to our client are
from road warriors in the field to the muchno longer available. The new features will cost
respected and appreciated office dwellers whothree times as much. The meeting that you just
occupy the ivory towers, headquarters or mazescheduled is for me to present how we are going
of cubicles. The office dwellers are the curatorsto sell these expensive new features and to
of much needed scrolls, documents, data, financialprovide an updated forecast on the revised
information and other incredibly essential data andrevenue. What, it is my turn to present? You do
processes that enable the organization to function.realize that I am hundreds of miles away right
The road warrior is the tireless face and voice atnow, don't you? No, I can not email my
the front lines of the information supply chain,presentation and review it with everyone by
responsible for maintaining that delicate balancephone right now. Why? I have not started the
between the vision of the clients and the magicpresentation yet. I must have missed the
of what really happens behind the curtain. "Did youannouncement. What's that? Oh, you were not
get my electronic calendar invitation for ouraware of the changes either and there was mp
meeting in ten minutes?" No, I did not get yourannouncement. I understand completely, trust me,
electronic invitation for the meeting. I am currentlyI really do. So, we have a new company strategy
sitting in front of a very important client andand a new corporate direction. We have decided
giving my undivided attention. The Cell phone isto reinvent ourselves. There will be a big meeting
turned to Vibrate and put away to avoidto unveil our new business plan and assigned goals.
distraction. The laptop computer is turned off andI got it. What's that? Oh, I need to submit my
in it's case. I have a pad and paper in front of mepresentation on how I will achieve those goals and
to take notes on highlights of our conversation.my plan must be sent before the close of
The client has my complete attention, especiallybusiness today. I'm sorry, you are breaking up. It
when we are face to face. The client has specificmust be a bad connection because I am close to
needs and a vision of the future. I need tothe airport now. I do not know if you can hear
understand that vision and effectivelyme, but if you can then I want to you know that
communicate how our features will meet theI will be boarding a plane soon and will call you
needs of the client. When we are together, theagain later from another city to find out what you
client and I, we have one purpose that isolates usare trying to tell me. Better yet, send an email. "I
from the interruptions of the outside world. Ourbet you really enjoy those frequent flyer miles."
purpose is to find the best solution for a mutuallyYou really have no idea how much I look forward
beneficial business arrangement. When theto taking my vacation, at home. After several
meeting is done, I will have to use my notes toweeks on the road and a different hotel room
draft a comprehensive document that I will sendevery night, I look forward to my own bed, the
back to the ivory towers. This document mustone that I picked out and paid for. These days
accurately convey the details of our conversationwe need to arrive at the airport at least two
with the needs and vision of the client. It musthours before the scheduled flight. This is not
accurately assess and explain the mutuallyproductive time. Imagine spending one quarter of
beneficial business arrangement and establish theyour eight hour day in the office standing in line
covenants or commitments of our conversation.with your shoes in your hand. There is a line to
My notes of those critical personal momentscheck in, a line to go through security and a line at
shared with the client will become the basis for ato board the plane. When you arrive, stand in line
thesis that will be drafted many hours later in ato collect your luggage and another line to get
hotel room in another city. That electronicyour rental car. Of course, you can bypass the
calendar invitation is buried amid two hundred andline to collect your luggage if you do not travel
one other emails, many of which are from otherwith toothpaste, shaving cream, deodorant, any
clients. I will ready them all when I sit at my hotelgels or liquids. You can identify those fellow
room desk, eat my hotel cookie and drink mypassengers who have elected to expedite the
single serving hotel room coffee. The hotel has acattle car processing by jettisoning their personal
Jacuzzi, pool and amenities that I will never see.toiletries. It would be impolite to discuss how you
What are the real amenities for a road warrior?can identify these passengers, just trust me on
High Speed internet connection, clean bed, hotthis one, you can. Working on the computer on a
shower and a continental breakfast are whattray table is only effective if you the
constitute Home Sweet Home. "Did you get theproportionate arms of a Tyrannosaurus Rex and
email with the attached 32MB Video of theif the individual in front of you is incapable of
receptionist's granddaughter's birthday party, thereclining. More than likely, you will be staring at the
pictures from the company sponsoredliver pots in the bald patch on the top of the head
Bar-Be-Cue, the invitation to have your carin front of you for hours. Remember to bring
washed in the parking lot or the plethora of otherlarge bills in exact change to pay for your wedge
emails with embedded cartoons and enormousof wet cheese, two individually wrapped crackers
attachments?" Some places still define high speedand box of sixteen fabulous handpicked raisins.
internet connection as a 56k modem or a singleAsk for a receipt so you can expense your
wireless router available from the hotel lobby.mid-air snack and then pay for the aisle or
Hopefully the download will be complete before Iwindow seat next to you so you can claim it as
finish packing my suitcase in the morning. I can'tentertainment expense if the snack is over your
wait to read the internal company announcementapproved per diem. If you fly as often as I do
about the hot lunch yesterday, accompanied bythen you also get the benefit of memorizing the
the gratuitous oversized images of greasydialogue from abbreviated movies that you would
burgers, fries and pizza slices. I am tempted tonot pay to see in the theatres. Of course, the
send an email with embedded pictures of my branbad language, violence and parental guidance
muffin and banana but fear that the humor willscenes are all removed to make the movies safe
only create another burdensome download to myfor general audiences. Needless to say, we will
fellow road warriors. Besides, somebody alreadynever see Ozzy Osbourne on the eight inch
beat me to the punch line and responded with amonitors. Would you like to hear us recite the
"Reply to All" message to HR that included a socialcomplete dialogue from "Coal Miner's Daughter" or
security number and complete medical history."Vanity Fair"? "You must hate your job." On the
There will be at least ten to fifteen more "Replycontrary, I love it. The travel, the schedule, the
to All" messages that simply say "Thank You",hours and the inconveniences are sacrifices that
but I won't know that until I open them. I havemust be made in the pursuit of a passion. Road
worn the letters off of my delete key. "Did youwarriors do not travel for the excitement of
read the email that I just sent to you?" Thankhotels, or for frequent flyer miles or because we
you for the phone call. I am now driving inenjoy the restaurants. The travel and time are a
bumper to bumper traffic with one hand on mymeans to an end, and that end is something much
cell phone so I can talk to you. In my other handmore meaningful and personal. If you were to talk
is a pen, ready to scribble notes on the printedto us, really talk to us for a few hours, you would
directions that I downloaded from some mappinglearn that the real passion is for family. For some
software three days ago. I know that this callroad warriors that pursuit of accomplishment
must be really important if you take the time tomeans a better life for a spouse or children at
write the email and then call to make sure that Ihome. Every day away from home is a personal
see it and respond. Where am I? On thesacrifice that is an investment for the ones that
passenger side of the car is a slowly wiltingare left behind. For other road warriors, the family
drive-through lunch. A cup of car temperatureis defined as the coworkers in the ivory towers.
coffee is perched in the console beside my elbow.For these people it is the professional family and
I am driving with my knees and trying to avoidthe success of the organization that keeps the
that other erratic driver who does not seem tofire burning within. For some other road warriors
be paying attention to the road or traffic. Wasthe extended family includes a special personal
that my exit? That's right, my cell phone doesrelationship with clients, and a true dedication to
get messages. I wonder if I can scroll through myhelp each customer achieve their individual
messages and read the pinpoint text whileaspirations. For the vast majority of road warriors
simultaneously talking to you about the attachedit is a combination of all of these things, the family
files. Can you hear me? I think that I found theat home, the family at work and the extended
email that you are talking about. Yes, this is theclient family on the road. We make sacrifices, but
email. Was that a police officer that I just passed?we are thankful to have the chance to do it and
Is it legal to talk on the cell phone while driving ingrateful to the people in the ivory tower. Office
this city? Better not take any chances, I have todwellers are a source of constant support and
hang up for now and call you back. I may not beamusement, for this we salute you Sincerely,
able to talk on the cell phone, but I don't thinkYour Devoted Road Warrior in the Field
that there are any laws about doing email or text_____________________ Words of
messaging on your phone while driving, not yetWisdom "Do Not Disturb signs should be written in
anyway. "I just sent you an IM, did you get it?"the language of the hotel maids." - Tim Bedore
Oh, you mean the Instant Message that you sent"The path to our destination is not always a
to ask me if I read the email that you calledstraight one. We go down the wrong road, we
about while I am trying to drive? Sorry, I missedget lost, we turn back. Maybe it doesn't matter
that one. Calculating route, when possible, pleasewhich road we embark on. Maybe what matters
make a legal U-Turn. Oh, it is the agenda for theis that we embark." - Barbara Hall, Northern
conference call that started five minutes ago. IExposure "The road that we travel may be long
need to provide a report and rolling forecastand arduous, full of many challenges. Yet it is the
based on the staff meeting today? Whatsame road that leads back home and that is
meeting? "Oh, we decided to change that featurenever too far.
three days ago. It is not available anymore." I see,